The Bridesmaid

I have a wedding to go to. Yay! My good friend Vanessa is finally marrying Tom Cruise!! Okay so obviously not the Tom Cruise but close enough. Really...you'd have to know her fiance in order to understand this. He is a living, breathing replica of Tom. Just about six inches shorter.

I received the text message over the weekend, "Okay girls. Its time to get your dresses. Give your sizes to .....". Don't you just love mass text messaging?!

So back to the issue at hand. Size? Really? Now? Ugh! I have been putting off actually getting measured let alone making that phone call. So I text back, "So can we alter these dresses if need be?" I had to ask. Vanessa has picked out a very unique dress and I have no idea if it can be altered and still maintain its original form. "Yes, its easier to alter up then down." Sweet relief! (There's no WAY in the world I'll need to alter down and if that happens someone PLEASE slap me!)

Size you say? Why? I'm perfectly fine the way I am right? For those of you lovely ladies out there that haven't given birth, its hard to understand the psychological and physical issues brought on by weight gain, stretch marks, boob deflation and hip widening (and in my case ribcage widening). Yes, Franci hung out with my lungs. She just loved getting as close to my throat as possible during her nine months of residency.

I unfortunately have to call and give my dress measurements soon. But hear me now! I declare war on this bridesmaid dress and we will see who comes out on top in March! (I have a feeling that she moved it from March to May. I'm terrible! I'm so confused though. She's having a catholic wedding and I think lent starts in March and that's why she moved to May.)

I will keep periodic updates on my progress. Perhaps a picture montage in the future? (Oh, 10 pounds by March, May, March...10 pounds by spring.)